believe.trust.soul

hurts ;

2011-01-04T22:32:00.000-08:00

My internal feelings.

Hey blog readers,soon school gonna start.partly,i don't wish to enter that school.Its so far.Yes,my boyfriend was upset and angry when i get the different school from him.Lately some bad things happen.I'm fucking sad plus i'm so disappointed when my boyfriend has a facebook while he deleted mine.Fair? no right. I'm speechless,he won't know how much i care about this relationship and how much i need him.I don't even dare to say a word to him,afraid he would leave me alone but i know he will one day or maybe tomorrow. Every single day i wish to wake up from my sleep and see him beside me.

Tell me boy,what more can i show to you how much i love you.One thing i need you to know, my love remains for you. Don't leave me,i still need you to be part of me and be there when i need you the most. I've lock this heart for you and trust me,nothing gonna change. We've go through this far,show me you care too. Boy, i'm in love with you and just you. Stop hurting me. Look at yourself,i might have my own mistake but I've change for us. I've tried my best to save this relationship,if leaving is what you want, i shall respect your decision as i don't wanna you to force yourself to love me. I know where am i standing now and i don't deserve you and some other girls would have deserve you.

I can't drag your heart to follow mine, i love you and that's the reason i'm giving in and try to understand your needs. I realize i can't make you happy. i appreciate all the effort and love you've gave.Therefore,i'm saying thank you so much for everything. I won't regret being with you once but instead i learn from the experience I've been through.

i love you boyfriend,so much.

With hugs and kisses,

eshanisha

myself ;

2010-11-02T02:42:00.000-07:00

Its all about myself.

I've got a job! Which is at Topshop. Glad that I already got a job.

I'm going smooth sailing with him and I'm so happy.

imy boy.

happy ;

2010-10-09T00:58:00.000-07:00

Finally n-level is over. Alhamdulilah. hehe.

So today out with my family. Waiting for my nlevel result,hopefully i can pass with flying colours. yuhoo^^ partly those pictures are taken today before going out. Another part of the news,i'm finding for a job which is more to retail.hehe.

Now i can have a break and have fun with family and friends.

i miss someone badly too. Hope we can meet up soon.

Chaos.

....

2010-10-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hey blog readers. Here i begin with my post,its been a long time since i update my blog,kinda of busy. I was boring after cleaning my house and took some pics.

Lately many things has happen, i decided to forget all that but try my best to make the right choice. Nothing much to say,goodbye.

imy.

....

2010-09-07T03:30:00.001-07:00

...

2010-08-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hey blog readers, its been a long time since i update my blog. So here it goes, first I felt a bit of relief as my prelims are finally over. Now I had to go for my final lap which was my N-level. Another part of it, its about myself.

Lately, I kept myself silent and ask myself have everything really fix to where it was? I had myself a rest. I still can't get the answer. If only i had this one and only chance to say that i truely need you to be part of me and you reply the same, i would be so happy that no words can explain. Allow me to prove to myself and then to you, that i love you sincerely.

All i could ever think and had someone in my mine was you. Please give me this second chance, to fix evrything and get things back like how it was use to be.

With that, i end it with ; i still need you and i hope we will never reach an end.

With love,

eshanisha.

♥

2010-07-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

Boy, you should know that i miss you. I'm sorry for not meeting you. Hope you understand, all i want was to meet you a.s.a.p.

imy ♥

i miss you;

2010-07-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

This few days after our hard times and this gaps, i miss you. I'm confused. I really need you, it hurts being apart like this. Hope to meet you soon and not to repeat the mistake like in the past. Dear, you can control me as much as you want but do you ever know all i ever wanted was you being here nice towards me, talk by me softly and cuddle me in your arms. I hate to say that sometimes you can say that you're hurt but do you ever knew whatever you're doing,hurts me more. Look at yourself and ask yourself what is wrong and why i turn to be like this?

I hope this time we can make it through. It sucks when i can't call or text you either. I'm bored at home, thinking about you. Wondering what you're doing at home,outside after your training. You make me worry, you will always in my mind and unable me to avoid you. Every conflicts we had, it teaches me alot and tell me about yourself. Therefore, I'm willing to accept it and wanna be by you always. Times files, hope things get better. Dear, I admit that i can't let you go. I still need you . Please don't betray me this time.

i love you dear.

Don't hurt me;

2010-07-15T19:14:00.001-07:00

I don't really think its a major problem.You created this. Why till now you're not getting it in you're damn mind that i love you had only you in mind and heart. Ask yourself dear,are you being fair towards me and this relationship? No. Tell mama about this? okay. Why don't you tell your own mum what you did to me? I keep myself shut knowing that i still wanna be by you. My mistake? I'm sorry and i mean it. Do you? This is not fair either! Post on your wall and acting as if you're hurt. Do i do that? No. Dear,I don't wish this to happen. Your words that came out from your mouth really hurt me, every words you say i know you mean it. Thank you so much ayul.

I'm always here to be patience and keep myself in silent and not telling anyone because i now this is between me & you. Think back, ask yourself am i ain't enough for u? Okay. This is really freaking me out. Your reason really bring me down. I'm begging you down my knees not to hurt me. Say it once and done. I'm telling you this, I don't wanna lose you out of this. I've told you i hate promises, you promise me alot. This always happen. Are you learning how to appreciate me? Don't show your weakness and hurt to our family and friends when it is the opposite way. This is so not nice.Why do you keep repeating this bullshit problems?

thankyou and ily.

why?

2010-07-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i ask 'why' in life? And get the answer from my experience. We often miss someone that he or she doesn't know that we do.I ask myself why i did a wrong choice sometimes. I regret letting myself love by the one who don't appreciate me. Now, i love him. N-level is coming, a lot of preparation to be done. I have to do my best for this very last year in Dunman Secondary School.

And the sad news, I'm sick. The best medicine will always be chocolate and rainbow ice cream.hehe.

imy.

affection ;

2010-07-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

Hey blog readers, I’ve been busy lately so much things to do regarding studies. Thank God my n-level English oral is done. There been thick situation I’ve been through with love but I still hold on to it and tell myself not to let it go. Everything is not easy and perfect as we wanted; we just have to try hard enough. I’m glad that I have someone that care for me and concern about me, thanks to you love. In this deep heart of mine have only you and no one. So please stop thinking negatively. Love, you know right we are trying hard enough to hold on to this, please care for this relationship and us.

Thank you so much for the stuff you’ve bought for me. Hehe. I love you.
partly i miss you.

..

2010-06-20T07:57:00.001-07:00

I left with a day to go and you're off .
ily.

myself ;

2010-06-16T05:57:00.001-07:00

Hey blog readers.

Lately i love to be alone staying at home watching world cup & help my mum out.i don't know why lately i'm not in the great mood to have fun or enjoy myself. I guess taking a break to think about my preparation for n-level was great. I miss him and i do. But things seems to be losen,i try my best not let go my heart away from the trust. Being myself and cool myself out is so much better. I'm still in love with him but that 'feelings' keep coming wen I felt losen,feelings of afraid i get hurt again. I don't seem to trust words that say from the heart but its temporary. Promises was not I'm gonna trust again.

Even if the mistake we done together, believe that we can change matters we want or don't want. Boy,do you know i left with five more days and you're off.Do you know how much i'm gonna miss you without you by my side?Do you know why i turn out to silent myself the reason comes from you,no matter what you gonna name me as,i still love you,no matter how harsh you gonna be towards me,i still love you. My love for you really can't explain this out. Maybe the way lately change me because i miss you so much that i kept myself silent and speak no words when you talked to me. Haish.

goodnight.

i love you .

love;

2010-05-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

My Saturday & Sunday was great.

I will share about Saturday when I've upload the pictures . ♥
Sunday ~ i met cinta at his place to fetch him as he is still unwell. The first thing when i saw him was i felt so happy. How i wish he knows that i love him. Next we go to Vivo City to have our lunch. Whatever it is, we still have a lot of fun & laughter. Whenever i look at him,the way he smiles & laugh, i felt so happy and wish to see him smiles everyday by me. He make my day always. How i wish he knows that i wanna be with him always. How i wish he knows I'm trying my best everyday & everytime. Words are words, my words are sincerely for him. Forget all the hurts is not easy but i have to try my best to trust him now. Thank you my dear for every hours / seconds we spend together. Love you.

And to somebody ;
You took him, and simply hurt him. Have you had enough ? haha. good. At least you try.
thank you.

moments;

2010-05-17T02:09:00.000-07:00

So here's a post about Saturday outing which i met cinta and went out with him then bought dearest mama a cake for her birthday."Happy birthday mama".Love you.Cinta and me bought the same bag,we have a lot of fun and laughter on that day,now i started to miss him already.Ouhyah this Saturday he has a match with the NFA team,so might be going to watch him play.Going with my cousin who is ayyu.haha.Really can't wait to see how he plays in the game.
Midyear is finally over lah people.haha.But n-level not over yet lah people.hahaha.study hard eshanisha !
Like no other news;
I miss Nur Aslinah.meeting her soon one day might be tomorrow.yuhoo :)
to cinta;
I read the post on your blog already.Sweet like candy lah bebeyh.haha.But once you did it again,trust me your life is not going be good as you think.Sorry,but i really hate it.Everyday i kept thinking what if you did it again.Nevermind.Forget it,i just show my very best now as i believe i still need you as much as i ♥ u.Thank you for all the spend cinta,on last weekend and this weekend.okay lah.till here.i wanna eat;hungry !

Love,
eshanisha ♥.

love & affection ;

2010-05-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

Hello . haha . yeah my pic with him ... first of most i don't wanna hear a single comment of yours but to say i love him. He makes me strong to forget everything,i thought it was just game all this while but not,until he shed his tears to me.Ain't enough for the prove,until we fight over and took revenge on each other but yet we forgaved each other.Forget it,i don't look over to all that. But to all the obstacles we face together,now i have to mischief from the jealousy and trust he won't did it again.

Yah,its true not to trust easily and get yourself hurt but i see the change.I promise to try the best i can to show my love for this guy.Without seeing him by my sight,all that i can say is 'i miss you'.Okay,changing everything ain't that easy as what you think,so i'm trying my super best to change it.

To cinta;

I know you have your soccer training and it is super okay with me as i don't wanna you to feel tired to talk with me till late night.All i ever want was you to have enough rest and there is always a time for us to meet.Like what mama say 'focus on the training'.haha.'macam paham arg mak aku'.haha.i have to understand you too but please don't do it again ? i trust you this time.i need you always so that i don't feel losen out of this.End of this,i need you as much as i love you.

* kiss & hugs *

smile;

2010-05-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

Here it goes, after all the pains,hurts,patience and tears.I start a new to forget & forgive every mistake of his & myself.Close my eyes and sleep in peace without thinking anything.Let it be a rumors or anything.I appreciate those who treasure me & understand me.Wish to shout out my pains internally but i can't.People blame me,without asking me.Thank you for everything.Hope this time i enjoy my life and that smile happen again this time.Ouhyah,i miss cinta & partly dearest aslinah.

to my dearest friend diniah ;

Putting a mask and trying to be strong is not you. I know you well my dear.Look,you are going through what I go through.Fighting for the right,not self-pride.I'm proud of you when your're strong but i follow up to the weakness when you show your weakness to me.Please i beg you,let rumors be but stay there to be with the one you love & treasure most. I know you can do this. Believe in yourself.

love,

eshanisha.

needs & wants ;

2010-04-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

i want this so much ! Haish !

should i ;

2010-04-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

I've forget every mistake of his . I promise not to open the story again . I've forgive him too . I don't wish to drag this thing . It's okay if he hurts me but i won't hurt him . Everyone deserve to be trust & to believe in them they can make the changes for the better .

bored-.-

2010-04-19T19:06:00.001-07:00

SOOOOOOOO not great ! i've lost my voice. haha. nevermind.
anyway sorry i didn't update lately.
busy ....
totally don't need any freak to add problems.
haha.
i miss aslinah ;

smile ;

2010-04-15T07:11:00.000-07:00

eshanisha.

birthday girl .

2010-04-14T18:27:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday baby aslinah. miss you so much. meet up soon yeah. sorry can't upload our photos. haha. once again, be a good girl. and enjoy your life. i love you so much and you are my next prioty after my family .

hehe ;

2010-04-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

smile;

2010-04-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hey blog readers; its been a long time i didn't update any post on my blog.so here it goes,
i'm busy as usual due to school stuff and at the same time i'm making things clear out.it seems nobody and no one understand my internal.they shout out what they want but me?i get no chance.i hate it.if you guess you are right then be it as i always know that i'm at the losing end.

For that someone;
You know,you had me going crazy in you.but still coping with the trust.
hope it has no end to it.

what a stupid lamb i am;

2010-03-24T17:56:00.001-07:00

Our two hearts beat as one
Cherishing what we have from above
Dance with me forever
Dance me to the end of love.

Today wasn't a great day i guess.I've been crying since 2 a.m + - 5 a.m +....i got a headache.i need a break.I'm tired.frankly speaking, I'm afraid okay.my eyes were swollen so not in the mood.bad day okay ! i believe its a forgive & forget problem.
i just wanna get it done nicely without any fights . why must it happen? from me? yes.
a promise; i won't do it again.
i was not doing my part and now i tried to look deep in me what is the mistake to change to make it better but not perfect.
i really messed up this time but i'm tired of this pain that is burning me deeply .

resting.

he never left me alone;

2010-03-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked for an angel and he gave me you.

hugs & kiss,
Khairun Nisha.

what is everything all about?

2010-03-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

i've deleted everything ;

done !

birthday meant something for me;

2010-03-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

Finally i'm sixteen.congrats to me.haha.it was the most exciting day.hahaha.my dearest mama when out with me to shopping.but that night when i was doing something for my blog,when time strike 12...my beloved friends & family start to text me.sweet of you guys.this day i will always remember.thank you so much for all the wishes.i guess is time for me to be a grown up person full with confidence and paying it forward but not backward as we can't change the time.i'm glad you guys remember my birthday instead.hehehe.once again thank you.And lastly,i will always believe i am who i am.even if 18 march was something special for me as you all know is the day i born and partly is another special day to remember,but i know fate is not on us.

once again thank you & love you all,

from,

eshanisha.

being patience;

2010-03-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

it seems improper; fix it for me if you know.

You were there always when i need now ain't no more.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

i miss you frankly.
And I just know that he warms my heart And knows what all my imperfections are and he says that i am the brightest little firefly in his jar.

"So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”

me;

2010-03-09T01:25:00.000-08:00

She is always she is.believe it or not,she don't care what you have to say about her.just keep it to yourself.she is a girl that was given false hope.haha.but she keep trying to move on happly.if one day,she were to be with you..all she need is trust & true hope that happen.please,to that someone..just don't hate me for treating you in a kind of a way.haish.

thank you;

girlfriend;

2010-03-03T17:49:00.000-08:00

After reading aslinah blog; ouh gosh,i miss her too !
so much ! Nur Aslinah Binte Mohd Rafie i do miss you too !
see ya soon aytes:)

lastly;

2010-03-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

When things happen;all you are suppose to say is:

For not being the best you can ever want;
miss imperfect.

Happy birthday papa;

2010-03-03T17:13:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to Dearest papa;

Have a great life ahead and stay strong always as a dad to me and my siblings.

love you papa.you meant something for me;

next;yesterday i slept late and get to school late today, as someone really is testing my patience! i don't know why i'm not in a good mood lately.f**k lah ! what you want actually???

Don't complaint;keep it to urself.

love & affection;

2010-03-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps ; i don't pretty much don't understand with the situation.anyway, i miss someone badly that i dream about this person.haha. this week might be a busy week for me; have to study hard for the next week common test and on Thursday is my dearest father birthday.My birthday coming up soon.hahaha.can't wait. hope it could be the most memorable day.hahaha.this weekend,i've plan to go somewhere. Thought of having some photoshoot as its been a long time i don't have new photos.haha.
okay,till here.

eshanisha is happy externally.

love;

2010-02-24T17:02:00.000-08:00

Late for school today basically the reason is because i slept late yesterday.As i can't put my eyes to rest.haish.hmm...i thought today i wanna go out with mama or what,see how.i left with 5 or 6 months to study hard.anyway,the happy news is, my birthday next month.hehe.would it be great?i hope so.my brother share with me his problem yesterday,felt so sad after hearing his sadness and fear.stay strong my brother,i'll be by you always.

I wanna bought new stuff like ;

Watches
New clothes
Shoes

see how, maybe this weekend.
nothing is perfect in this world and nothing is fair neither.
so bored sia-.-

To him ; all the best.love you always.

No hope;

2010-02-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've realize everything is not worth waiting.I shouldn't be doing this.if someone has a solution to it,please show me the way to solve it.what am I suppose to do when I can't bear looking at him.I really don't wanna continue this but I do love him so much,but I know i'm just following my anger.haish.world is really unfair right?having your own happiness,when you can't find it right?I hate empty promises so much that I myself didn't even make a promise.you gave me so much hope that I trust you so much.I thought you're the one.but I kept thinking is it true or not.must I hold on tight to myself.I tried to erase the image of yours but it still lingers in my mind,the image of you smiling and laughing.haish.i shouldn't be reminiscing the past.I'm blank in mind thinking about this.peeps,try putting your legs in my shoes and putting your soul in my heart?cn you feel it?proving someone we love him or let him catch the feelings himself?which is which? I don't knw it myself. being in love with him was such a memorable thing to remember.haish.should the patience be there or should I just stop thinking about this?I guess till here my post end,to be continue when I'm okay...
Be always love & remember.

lately;

2010-02-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not who i am lately.I'm totally down.lots of problem came near me.haish.
i need spaces to it.to my brother, goodbye.my prayers will always keep you save anywhere.no one will understand my feelings as a sister that love my siblings so much.now let time decide.
i need someone to cheer my day everywhere i am.haish.people , treasure the one you had before you regret.spend as much time as you could to be with them.

goodbye brother. will always remember,
sister.

love u;

2010-02-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

i can't describe how much i love you;

it just comes around;

2010-02-14T18:10:00.001-08:00

Appreciate
Appreciate is what you need from others but first ask yourself , have you done that to others.sometimes i wonder why people don't appreciate for what they have and in the end they regret.me, a girl who has regret for what happen.i pull myself up and learn how to appreciate my family, friends, others...i ever appreciate someone that i never wanna lost but now that someone have gone, gone far away from my heart. Its okay. I'm happy for that someone. Appreciate someone is not easy..appreciate goes with the flow of trust. Now,here i am to inform you, don't start if you don't plan to and never say you will hold my hand tight if you can't.Never look into my eyes if you don't have a reason to it. My parents has pull me up from the dark room..its not easy to gain trust but all you have to do is try harder..I ever fail but i learnt its all about learning experience.sometimes i think twice or rather thrice to make myself confidence.i need time to hold everything up strong.i really don't need people that give me fullest hope at early stage and leave me alone there.i believe us will know what it mean of life one day when we step into it.
By Khairun Nisha'

promise;

2010-02-14T03:51:00.000-08:00

Promise..
you;promise me....but in the end you change you're mind.haish.sometimes; i think through,we've fall apart at certain times,i've gave my best but things goes the way that we don't expect.someday; i hope you know what i mean.turning back the time is no use of it.you;are the one that i've gave my fullest heart but you tend to ask me to find my own happiness.i believe you need that happiness,not me.being a stranger to you now,i just can't bear doing it.please,understand me.thank you.

valentine;

2010-02-10T17:47:00.000-08:00

be mine?its just near the corner.have fun couple!

haish;

2010-02-10T16:58:00.000-08:00

i miss you so much and love you will my fullest heart.

even if everything last a while.i appreciate you so much that i myself cn't effort to lose you.appreciate is what i've learn in life that i should know how to appreciate myself, family, friends and most importantly appreciate the one who loves you with their fullest attention, before i regret it.

boring;

2010-02-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

See my eyes ! after crying decided to have photoshoot.to cheer me up.haish.currently so bored.a lot of homework to be done oi.haiyah!

sad in tears;

2010-02-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

You hurt me; why won't you just move on? why must you promise me when things keep happening? do you think you deserve a chance? why must you blame me? why now? why don't you just continue what you're doing.I'm so exasperated by things that happen. i try to gain the trust but me myself feel loosen to it. you are a nice person but i don't why things seems to go wrong. Realize your mistake and get back. Don't say i treat you like how she treat you,it seems the other way round.i don't need your friends to explain who you are, as you yourself can explain why things happen. Goodbye.

Anyway,thanks Hazmi for the explanation.

i'm down;

2010-02-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

what is it suppose to mean?

stay strong;

2010-02-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

I've to stay strong and face it.Goodbye, love you.

Be always waiting; eshanisha

lost my way;

2010-02-01T18:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i wonder is it true? someday you will know me better.

Appreciate is what i've learn in my life.

love you.

lover;

2010-01-31T16:39:00.000-08:00

i miss you as always.

Nobody will understand it..

what i mean by my love of siblings;

2010-01-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

Dearest brother,
at any point of time you're reading this,i hope you understand.i don't mean to get angry with you.but i just wanna you to understand what each of our parents feelings.i know deep in you,you love us with all your heart and i know you don't mean to hurt us but that's what your world now happen.i will always be by you.

love,
sister.

friends are there when you need;

2010-01-23T01:35:00.001-08:00

Currently with baby aslinah.Wanna have an outing with her due to reason we have not been meeting each other for a long period of time! i miss her and yes,i do!today outing sure gonna be great,i will update the photos soon.

and to that someone,i miss you.

believe on it;

2010-01-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

everyone dream of it;

and i've dream of it.i don't wanna give others hope but i need ur ear to listen to my heart that need two souls that beat as one.

The stars & the moon will alwaes be our prove.

i need you to complete it;

2010-01-20T16:59:00.001-08:00

everything was given but now its gone;
Anyway,the good news is that mama has just gave birth to my lil sis.
Welcome to our family Khairun Nazeeqah Binte Mohd Zahir.

i miss you;

everything;

2010-01-13T17:39:00.000-08:00

your touch make me goes smooth on it;
then beat it.

day was a brighter then;

2010-01-10T01:38:00.000-08:00

BOO!ola blog readers;Currently i'm bored.nothing much to do,so have all this funny photoshoot again.haha.tomorrow school starts again.see that jerk again!like hell!to all my gurlfees meet tomorrow.thanks for all the help;love eu girls.

getting hurt is not fun.

2010-01-07T03:53:00.000-08:00

hello readers.

Eiylanabilah here. Rarah, Aslinah as well as myself received a bad news from this blog owner recently. Omg, we can't bear to see her crying like this. In our friendship of 3 years, we have yet to see her crying this badly. Do you think she deserve this?! I don't think so.

Since you treat her this way, i'll make sure that the broken heart she suffered right now, won't be mend by you. Don't blame her for telling the three of us. And fyi, Nisha's body temperature right now is 38.5 degree. That's what her mum told me. Whatever it is, thank you so much for being the first guest to hurt her badly. Don't worry she'll move on with the help of the three of us.

'Do not fall into the mud with your sweet words again.'
~ this is what her mum told her.

everyday;

2010-01-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

everyday;everysecond of waits.you just go.
never come back again!i hate knowing you!

need you by me;

2010-01-02T02:53:00.000-08:00

i need you to complete my night that is young;

family is my everything;

2010-01-02T01:12:00.000-08:00

yesterday;

it was fun outing with my family.i love them all so much.my strength and my everything.

can't wait till school reopen:)see you all friends!

i do love you and miss you;

i miss those times;

2009-12-29T02:26:00.000-08:00

FORGIVE & FORGET;

haish;

2009-12-27T20:13:00.001-08:00

it seems wrong;

i want this smile back;

2009-12-27T05:40:00.000-08:00

i don't need everything to be happy.i need you to be here sincerely for me to be happy;

why does it happen?

2009-12-27T04:28:00.000-08:00

complicated;

how i wish i don't know you guys,so i don't hurt any of you both.i thought the journey is gonna be nice but it turn confusing.one day you guys will know.in this matter no one is wrong neither is right.nice guys like you guys is hard for me to be fair.remember this;its okay if people wanna hurt us but don't hurt them back.let it be.yah i accept the fact that you guys ask me to put myself in your shoes but try the opposite way and put urself in my shoe.why must this happen.why must 'she' come and tell that to both of you,why must after you guys are my friends??let time decide.being fair is difficult if you're not being fair to yourself.

now;

2009-12-23T01:16:00.000-08:00

bored;

2009-12-22T22:31:00.000-08:00

I've just woked up and plan to have all this stupid photoshoot:)hahaha.like jerk!

i miss someone badly! help!

everything is only for my one & only.

weak without seeing him by me:( i need him;

be mine and always my one ! hehehe.

he is my blueberry;i'm his strawberry.

love and miss you always till where i can.

officially yours truthly;

2009-12-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

when is it?

yummy;

2009-12-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

i want this too:)

yummy;

2009-12-22T03:51:00.000-08:00

i want this again!!

fried mars bar is the best:)

i want to know what love is;

2009-12-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

What was all that suppose to mean?

i'm confused in this love.and if you know what love is,tell me now.don't blame me for whatever had happen.after a lonely life here come love.promise are always meant to be broken.A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. being a man of success is not what i want.being a man of value is what i need.do you think i love hurting people?haish.if you know me then you will really know who i am.lying is not what i always want.sweet and simple words are easy to say but does it meant anything?i hate trusting people but i love trusting people when they trust and have confident.looking down on yourself is not what i wanna see.

twins;

2009-12-19T02:42:00.000-08:00

amigoagogo;

hey,i just get to know this twins.haha.cool!

i chat with the eldest follow by the younger.i didn't knw they were twins until i found out.

hahaha.

keep in touch till the last we can:)

nice knowing you both even we just get to knw todae.

eldest is the best;

2009-12-17T06:17:00.000-08:00

Here is my Lil bro;15 December 2009

Being the eldest is always the best.his from my father & my stepmom.

next month my mother gonna give birth to my Lil sis.wuhoo!haha.

I as a sister always love my siblings no matter what.'kakak' will always pray the best for my 'adek-adek' okay.'kakak' will always be by your side when you are in the dark.

thank you for the wonderful family i had:)

...

2009-12-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

Happy.i'm confused.i love you.happiness is not about eveything in life you need.at the moment i'm tired.i need a solution to it;

i need a perfect reason to whatever had happen.

because of you;i loses myself.

because of you;i should not trust love.

because of you;everything change.

next month lil sis gonna step into the new world.i'm happy.

the word 'goodbye' really meant 'goodbye'.

can't find the words to it;

2009-11-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

Woo woo

Now we've been talking for a while;

And you got me tryin' to figure out

Boy I don't know what to say to you

But you got me feelin' some kind of way for you

And all I know is when we're together

No one can make me feel the way you do baby

I wish each moment can last forever

It's hard to explain the way I feel for you(I just can't find the words)

You got me loosing myself

In what I'm trying to say

And it's so hard to fight it

Can't help but feelin' this way

And every time that I'm near you it's like my heart gets weak.

Feels like I'm loosing my breath makin' it hard to speak.

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

Just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

Now I know I come off kinda shy

But it's hard to say what's on my mind

The chemistry we have is hard to find

But to find the right words it's going to take some time

And all I know is when we're together

No one can make me feel the way you do baby

I wish each moment can last forever

It's hard to explain the way I feel for you(I just can't find the words)

You got me loosing myself

In what I'm trying to say

And it's so hard to fight it

Can't help but feelin' this way

And every time that I'm near you it's like my heart gets weak.

Feels like I'm loosing my breath makin' it hard to speak.

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

Just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

You got me trippin' over words u got me stuttering

And like a bad dream I'm callin' out but u don't hear me speak

And constantly I find myself in this predicament

So let me show you (show you) baby (baby) that actions speak louder than words

One time

Two times

three times

Karina, You got me loosing myself

In what I'm trying to say

And it's so hard to fight it

Can't help but feelin' this way

And every time that I'm near you it's like my heart gets weak.

Feels like I'm loosing my breath makin' it hard to speak.

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

Just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

Woo woo

I just can't find the words

help;

2009-11-20T08:17:00.000-08:00

hey singapore;

its still cold.i miss my family so much.i've just bought things for all my family.and yah,tomorrow i'm gonna go to Taj Mahal! haha.can't wait to see the beautiful scenery.i will upload all the photos when i've reach singapore;

Have to pack my things saturday night
check through everything
taste the last dish before i go (important)

I wanna have an outing with all the people that i miss a lot when i've reach home.

goodnyte.

stuck in india;

2009-11-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

hey singapore;

I'm still in india.its cold here.the temperature was like around 15 degree.

anyway,i miss all my family and friends.food in here is nice.

i'm looking forward to go home soon.

currently i'm staying in my buddy house.

haha.she is nice person.i love her family too.

tomorrow is a day where shopping hell will be in me.i've learnt a lot of new things here.

till here.

goodnyte.hugs & kisses;

i'm off !

2009-11-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

haloha;

hey eu guyz.i'm going now .

currently i'm now at airport:)

i'm gonna miss eu all !

hugs & kisses ;

...

2009-11-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

i'm off next week.

certainly, i'm gonna miss my family & friends.

do take care.i will miss you all.

i try to contact you guyz from there.

i'll shall try to meet you guyz before i go.

tatatitittutu.

yesterday and till tomorrow;

2009-11-01T00:05:00.001-07:00

Batman meets Cinderella;

bored with;

2009-10-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

fucking bored with spammers ;
hmm..i wanna meet this someone badly.
i miss my papa.haish.i have major problem with him.
and guess wat,the person i need to share probs with is not here with me.

sayang<3

2009-10-08T20:18:00.000-07:00

Aku mahu cium kamu sebelum ku tidur:)

stress for study but always happy for something..

don't care wateva people wanna said...

sunday is gonna be fun !

Goodnytes..

sayang kamu :)

2009-10-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

Ohh..my..i still got headache! can't tahan ! haha.
yesterday i watch movie title 'FAME' after i went back home from hospital.
haha.boring larh ! exam near the corner of the bikini bottom.haiyo.so stress.
have to study hard :) to love: haish.dunno.let it remain and be this way:)
this saturday and sunday gonna be busy with something:)haha.
ntg much to said.bye.

goodnyte peeps:)

Wow !

2009-10-02T03:46:00.000-07:00

Hello:) Blog reader.. hmm, currently i'm at Delifrance KKH(Kandang Kerbau Hospital) There is a internet surf here! Wanna know why? Yesterday i went for HariRaye, suddenly i had a BAD flu. & just now in school a fever just strike into me.. haish!! Mama bring me to the doctor some where near my house and tha Doctor wrote me a letter and ask me to go the hospital. Den mum bring me straight to the hospital an guess whatt?? i was ADMITTED !! haiss.. I will pleased the Doctor to check me out on Sunday or A.S.A.P.. so monday i can meet all my frens.. I love you all.. & do pray for me to get well soon. Thanks kay !

Goodnight, I will always remember you in my deepest heart!!

help !

2009-09-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

i'm fucking stress about him ! so worry about my study ! yah,i would want to return his bag a.s.a.p! First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity ? certainly !

STRESS ! STRESS ! SRIKE INTO ME !

give me the answer please to everything that happen in us !

love ?

2009-09-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

I'm so so sad.must i cried every night to think about him? can he still be part of me? i miss him ?! yes, i still do. haish. leave or stay? i guess he didn't need me. he really want me to leave him i guess? i hope u're happy with any of your decision. i'm always a girl who cn't be strong in love. its okay. i wish him all the best.

"cinta tidak mampu memberi segalenye kepade jiwe tapi jiwe akan selalu cinta sayangi,mungkin cinta tak sehebat yang jiwe nak tapi maafkan cinta atas segale dose cinta.kamu tetap di pandang sempurna.cinta sakit hati bile jiwe buat cinta seperti ini.yah,memang cinta pernah membuat salah yang besar tapi kenape jiwe membalas nye dengan sehebat gitu.ape yang jiwe mahu dari cinta ?! sesungguhnye cinta tak memahami mu. selamat jiwe."

what is going on now ;

2009-09-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

How am i suppose to work this out without someone by me;

you are something and alwaes be someone that is part of me,yah,i know i'm wrong based on anything that happen.you are jus right with your words.think and think,making the decision to make the change but still the same.i will alwaes accept whatever you wanna said.If I should die tonight and the reason remains unknown, tell not the whole world, but the one I love that I died of a broken heart, not because he loved me too little but because I loved him too much.Sometimes change is what's best, letting your heart break, and learning how to cope.haish..

check out !

2009-09-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

Here is the list of people that i miss a lot !

I always feel like I'm missing out on something, that someone is having more fun than I am, so I take measures to make sure that is impossible. ...

Grandparents
Mawar_aslinah
nashirah
w_ _ _ _ _
and lots of others.haha.

to whuever: you don't own the pics aytes !

*tatatititutut*

sweet

2009-09-18T03:10:00.000-07:00

It is necessary to help others, not only in our prayers, but in our daily lives. If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is to desist from harming them.

anw,im getting ready..wanna *buke* outside with my family then buy my bag & shoes.haha.

*tatatititutu*

dreams ~

2009-09-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams. So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

I miss someone.forgive for not beeping or texting you..hmm..
anw,currently i'm busy chatting & dressing up as my parents wanna bring me out :)
find the last piece of cloths for rayer..hehe.
bubbye..gdnytes <3

something ~

2009-09-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

happy?

2009-09-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

hey,dae by dae im so happy with my lyfe ! its just so great..Thanks to ALLAH...
haha.I've done painting my house & cleaning !
Nice !
I still miss some very special to me <3

even things ain't that perfect for us,i still try my best..

being happy & a great is smile is all i need.

sweet dreams people !

to whuever !

2009-09-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm SICK ! FEVER freak me out !

I'M ANGRY TOO !

PEOPLE OUT THERE,TESTING MY PATIENCE !

not just you but many of you !

write n write watever you want ! i'm sick and problems CAME DOWN INTO MY MIND . people like you guyz are heartless ! this week im jus gonna share it and have an outing with MANIS. don't fight or intend to a conflict with me agean aytes ! i'm tired and sicked of all this . I believe i cn be better just for the right man and people ! nobody in my life is helping me ! remember that ! tears then run through is the only thing that i manage to do ! i feel like changing my number and NOT telling anybody whats my new number. I believe i'm a gerl you hate and don't wanna see ryte?! well, i'm jus a gerl showing the true in me . accept it or not,i'm whu i am !

IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO ACCEPT WHU YOU ARE,THEN ACCEPT WHU THEY ARE !

IF YOU CN'T,im sorry to said you have to leave !

i've tried to cool down the situation,bt you intend to rise up your fire,then when i start to burst too,you ask me WHAT AND WHY !

remember this guyz , i might be the gerl that cn be sweet ! bt at the same time,once you step into my head,i will show you whats the real gerl cn stand ! i might done the biggest mistake to you,bt beared in mind,i cn be sweet to get the trust bac and at the same time,don't even think of scolding me out of no where !

chaos !

...

2009-09-03T00:35:00.001-07:00

jus be whu you are there:)

happy2 moments :)

2009-09-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sharing my news and leave the bads :)

I MISS MAWAR ! WISH TO MEET HER SOON !

just a simple note for eu :)

2009-08-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Currently im busy.i'll be bac after my exam.tatatititutu bloggers :)

Friends are dere wen eu nid <3

2009-08-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

Happy tyme ~ he really cheer my dae.

thankz friend :)

lyfe that goes backfired !

2009-08-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

HAISH ! somebody willing to be my listening ear ?!

two side of family problem ! haiyo ! im totally pisst off now !

i guess all this happen, have a lesson of a beatiful ending :(

Try my hard to forget wateva happen:)

and on the 18 august i break the record not to sleep.so sad.

Ystd i do chitchat with someone, i feel relief :)

if you wld lyke ppl to accept the way eu are,

try accepting them the way they are ..

Learnt from it and don't regret :)

2009-08-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

BUHOO ! on the 16 August 2009 really had a great fun oi !
haha. wif bby mawar,riezzy,shakir and qayyum.
haha.im so tired dis few daes .ferstly FASTING is near the corner oi...so taubat larx ! ystd someone chitchat wif me,he told me he really wanna change for his family and future.so sweet :) i wish hyme all the besh.

totally freak out.i really miss someone.

got to study hard.don't disturb me.haha.kidding<3

To Shaqir,riezzy & qayyum ~ wateva happen ystd we hope we learnt from it and never repeat.i really feel sorry for eu guyz:) please kae:) eu guyz really cheer my dae ! thankiuk so much:)

Ystd we really had a lot of fun ! haha ! we cook,we clean,we sing & many more:)

I wanna said a big thankiuk to all <3

goodntye..

dunno what im trying to said :)

2009-08-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

yesterdae was my happy2 dae :)

got to meet someone :)

Can't forget yesterdae !
Hmwk alot ! english !

In this point of time, i wanna thank you.we cry out joy.haha.im happy with whu i am.im bored now ! freaking !

for eu once agaen?

2009-08-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

if eu guess u are plain stupid to believe me den by all means :)

I really care whoever i have now :)
i do mishing someone :)
planing a new lyfe ?!
saturade outing ? ~ bby mawar , riez , qayyum , shakir ? shall update soon aites .

Being who i am now :) happy !

simple?!

2009-08-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

ask your heart twice ~

Its okae:)

once agaen thankiuk.

8 august ~ fun with bby aslinah,qayyum,riezzy & shakir

anw, i had fun outing wif qayyum,riezzy & shakir . on the 9 august.

thankz alot for the laugh :)

the end:)

continue ~

2009-08-07T06:46:00.000-07:00

haloha ...

karma?>..haha. been through that..

learnt from that too,what do you expect..

haha.continue with the harsh words syg.

im here still standing and accepting it :)lyfe jus need to be patient once eu did a mistake.

haha.said if eu wanna it...i cn give it bt still loving eu...

"i'll still fend and love eu " rite ?!bt not lyke it use to be?!

its okae...i'll shall try my best to gain it :)

being strong wen eu did a mistake its ain't easy syg.

haha.thankiuk so much for all of it...sometimes,somedae we have to take wateva ppl is giving us bac,b.c of our mistake.even the "bac" is even worse then we thought.

still mishing eu..........................<3

goodnyte ppl <3>